I love my grandchildren….or “grandchillin’s” as I like to call them! What a joy and a blessing they are and have been in our lives! When I think about the times we have enjoyed together, I am reflective on my impact on each of them. I think of the choices I have made and how they have affected them growing up. I must also consider the choices I make in the future and how I can make a lasting impact on their lives. What will they remember about me? We will all be remembered one way or the other…fondly or not so much.
Growing up…my grandparents were a safe haven for my sister, brothers and I. That is what I remember feeling about them and being at their house…safe…especially when things got crazy at home. We spent a lot of time at their house growing up. They always had goodies that we all loved and would enjoy every time we were there…like sweet pickles and peanut clusters. Yummy! Grandma worked at the bakery and would always bring raisin bread or sweet rolls home, and she made a lemon meringue pie like no other! Grandpa loved putting puzzles together and I liked helping him. One of the wacky things that I fondly remember grandpa doing when we would eat lunch (usually consisting of hot dogs, cottage cheese, and pickles) he would always slap whoever was sitting closest to him, on the cheek with a hotdog! We would always forget and whoever got the dog smack, was totally surprised every time. We would all laugh so hard as though it was something we had never seen before. Something so silly, still makes me smile. And YES…I may be guilty of doing that same thing a time or two.
As my own children were growing up, their grandparents were in their lives, but not necessarily hands on or intentionally present. One thing I know they remember though, are the calls at 6am on the day of their birthdays, from grandma Lucy. That was her trademark and I loved that about her. I’m sure they also remember her love of mariachi music and the way she would sing along, as well. Times with all the other grandparents and having special memories were few and/or far between. I always found that to be a sad choice they made and felt it was totally their loss, to not know my children and see the beautiful adults they have become. Choices….they made.
So even long before my daughter and her husband began having children…I had decided that I wanted to have a “presence” in the lives of my grandchildren. I wanted to be fun, a little wacky and do things that they would remember. Making choices in their lives that will have a positive impact, and create fond, lasting memories in their hearts and minds. Choices that we hopefully all look forward to making, in the lives of our children’s children…be they near or far away. Choices…
Let’s consider how the choices we make can and will have an impact our grandchildren’s lives. How do we make choices that are best for them and not for us? Especially when we feel it is our “right” to spoil them, and to give them everything we weren’t able to give our own children. The choices we make for them can either be good or can be bad, and these choices can be sending them many mixed messages. When we choose to interfere with the rules dad and mom have set up…in their household. We are choosing to teach them that rules don’t matter and are made to be broken. When we don’t respect mom and dads wishes when it comes to gifts and treats…we are choosing to undermine their authority. When we choose to do things “our way” with the chillins, instead of the ways their parents have laid out…are we choosing to cause confusion in their hearts and minds?
What are we teaching them? Are we choosing to teach them lessons for life or how to live in the moment? Teaching them to see the needs in others, to share, to give, or teaching them to be self centered, always wanting more? Are we choosing to teach them to seek the Lord when they are afraid and anxious? Or by our example, are we teaching them to run to other things or to self medicate? Little eyes and ears are watching, listening to the choices we make in our own lives, how we as parents and grandparents cope with life. Those choices can and will influence the choices they will make in their own lives one day. Choices…that will direct them to the Lord, or make them question His very existence. Choices that will help them trust and grow in their relationship with God, or…cause them to doubt and waver in their faith.
We can also choose to teach them to enjoy the simple things in life, like going on a bug hunt or going to a pet store to be amazed at all the glorious colors, shapes and sizes of the tropical fish! Or watching a meteor showering, on the back yard swing, at midnight (we got permission to stay up)! Choose to teach them how to notice and see the beauty, glory and majesty of God’s glorious creation that is all around us…especially as the world around us grows uglier. Those things don’t cost money…only time. As for some of those times when we may give them money, making them spend half on someone they don’t know (not one of their friends), teaching them how to be a blessing to others.
As grandparents, (or Grammy and Grampy, as we like to be called) we can choose to be old and frumpy (no matter what our age), or we can choose to be wacky and fun! Choosing to be vulnerable, to show them your heart, even your silly side rather than being uptight and stuffy! Choosing to invest in the lives of our grandchildren only takes a moment…to share a word of encouragement, a Bible verse, crazy pictures…even if it is on Snap Chat or sending them a text. Whether it is life lessons, wacky moments, memories of Sponge Bob monopoly, making shaved icees on a hot summer day, painting Christmas houses, having spa day at the Senior home, or taking cookies to the Firemen on 9/11…these have all been choices. For me, choosing these things…has been blessing and a joy. For all you grannas, nannas, pawpas, memaws and papas…cherish the moments (they fly by so fast) and I pray you too will…choose to be “present” and actively pursue making a difference in their lives of your grandchillin’s…you will never regret it!
choosingtoliveandlove 